Wake up and Thrive
Bridget Covill is a Feminine Embodiment/ Relationship Coach, a wife, a mom of 4, and a Women's health RN sharing tangible tools to help you FEEL wildly turned on by life again. She is the CEO of Find Her Wild Coaching. In this space, we will apply holistic coaching tools to everyday moments that we deem hard. Instead of allowing these experiences to keep us stuck, we will lean into their lessons and let them wake us up. These tools will help you connect deeper to yourself, your purpose, and to the people in your life. Grab a cup of coffee, have something to take notes and keep an open mind. It's time....it's time to WAKE UP & THRIVE.
Wake up and Thrive
089- Creating a Pleasure Practice
Welcome back to a juicy episode all about pleasure!!! Notice for a moment, what stories, sensations, or emotions arose when you read that. Alot of people immediately go to sexual pleasure or feeling embarrassed or a hint of shame. If that is you, just notice and come back into this moment.
In this context, we are not talking about pleasure just from a sexual standpoint. I want to introduce women everywhere to this concept of creating a daily, nonsexual, pleasure practice. When we start to make pleasure part of our daily lives, then we start to become the owner and creator of our own experience. This is when you are the most powerful. It starts with learning to feel good again.
We live in a world that is starting to wake up, and most of us are getting good at feeling uncomfortable emotions, but what about building our capacity for the feel-good ones? This actually takes practice for most of us because we were told feeling good is bad!
If you have every asked yourself, " What do I even desire?", then this episode is for you. Our desires are directly connected to what feels good inside of us! As we start to strengthen this relationship with our pleasure in the simple moments, we become more attuned to what we desire in the big moments. Tune in for a powerful question to ask yourself no matter what you are doing that will help you connect to your feminine energy and create room for more pleasure.
Make sure you pop in your ear buds and cozy up for a fun and juicy episode. I hope you leave today's episode feeling inspired to create your own pleasure practice today! Come find me on social and share what you come up with!
If you resonate with this content and have been wanting support, this is your opportunity! I will be opening registration for my signature program, Fully Alive this month. Get on the waiting list here and receive a bonus discount just for being on this list.
If you want to connect deeper to your desires and reclaim your voice, then this month's breathwork class is for you. For only $27, you can gift yourself an incredible journey back into your body, and remember how good it feels to ASK for what you desire most! If you feel called or curious, TRUST THAT! Register right here.
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If you want to inquire about coaching and receiving support in helping you create stronger connections to yourself, your purpose, and those in your life email me your story here....bridget@findherwildcoaching.com
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Hi, my name is Bridget and this is my podcast, wake Up and Thrive. My intention for this space is to help women around the world live more awake, aligned and truly alive. I believe wholeheartedly that we are designed to live, feel and experience the full range that life has to offer, and in doing so, we can live fully turned on in all areas. My story began with sobriety and has since been an initiation into rediscovering parts of myself that I forgot about or had abandoned. Learning to reclaim all of who I am has been the greatest gift of living awake, and together we will go on a journey of helping you to do the same. You can expect to learn practical tools to help you connect deeper to yourself, your purpose and those in your life. All you need is an open heart and an open mind. So if you're ready, it's time. It's time to wake up and thrive. Hello, good morning and welcome back to Wake Up and Thrive.
Speaker 1:I'm really excited for today's solo episode. It was actually in response'm really excited for today's solo episode. It was actually in response to somebody's comment on my last episode. So last week I talked about speaking your truth and what that really looks like. I think most of us think speaking our truth is just being honest about what the other person is doing and how they need to change their experience. So we're calling them out versus. I want you to start looking at speaking your truth is calling them out versus. I want you to start looking at speaking your truth is calling them into your experience, really being able to share your desires and your needs and all the things, your entirety of your experience.
Speaker 1:And somebody asked a really powerful question. They said well, what do you do if you're not, if you don't know what you desire? Like you don't really have that connection. And my immediate answer, and so I'm going to give you guys the answer and then I'm going to pause and I want you to notice what comes up when I bring this up. So she asked again. Her question was what do you do if you're so disconnected from your desires? And immediately I said oh, thank you so much. This is a very common question. You are not alone. What I would suggest and ask first is do you have a pleasure practice? And this is an intentional pause, you didn't lose service. What do you think of you listening when I say do you have a pleasure practice, what's the first thing that comes to your mind and now notice your body.
Speaker 1:Today we're going to talk about a pleasure practice. Did you turn down the volume? Did you put in the headphones that the kids wouldn't hear? Did your ears perk up a little? What came up for you? Because I know for this person that I had said do you have a pleasure practice? Her response was exactly what I'm sure many of your responses is.
Speaker 1:What are you talking about? Self-pleasure, right? Masturbation, sexually speaking, and actually no, that's not what I'm talking about and that's what I want to break down on today's call. I want to talk to you guys about what a pleasure practice is, two ways that you can very simply incorporate this into your everyday life. Okay, so this is something.
Speaker 1:If you have kids, they can listen to this because, let's be honest, kids are connected to their pleasure. Kids know what feels good. They seek things that feel good. We as adults are so freaking confused. That's why, for me, for years, I thought it was found in the bottle of wine, right? A lot of us find it in scrolling, or scroll what am I saying? Overspending. These are not real ways of pleasure. These do not give us like actual feelings. Yeah, this is not a pleasure practice.
Speaker 1:So what is a pleasure practice? A pleasure practice is the first step to connecting to your desires, because oftentimes we are only even in the personal growth space, even in the healing world. When we talk about getting into your body, most often it's talked about in terms of feel those uncomfortable emotions right, create inner safety. I've talked a lot about this. I had a whole podcast episode about this. I am all about teaching women to be with what's uncomfortable, and this was something I really had to learn. In sobriety, you can get rid of all the uncomfortable emotions. Like all day long. You can constantly be feeling and revealing and healing and moving through life that way. But that's so heavy. That's so heavy. How many of you are taking time to actually tune in and create good feeling, energy and moving that every day, circulating that? So instead of waiting for somebody outside of you to make you feel good, you wake up and you turn yourself on. You make yourself feel good.
Speaker 1:Again, I'm pausing what's coming up for you, because if you are still still, mind is going towards like. This is a sexual conversation. It is not. I've said it, I also keep saying it, but it's interesting to notice if that's what came up for you. That's what came up for me the first time I thought about it. But it's interesting to notice, if that's what came up for you, that's what came up for me the first time I thought about it. And even when I invite my clients to do this pleasure practice, immediately they're like what are you doing? What did I sign up for? But it is something every single woman needs to have in their life, every single woman. Whether you are disconnected from your desires or you're very connected, this will help maintain that. This will help you increase your libido. So, yes, it does have like sexual benefits, but a pleasure pack practice is Okay. So what is it? So?
Speaker 1:Michaela Boehm is one of my mentors. She writes the Wild Woman Way. I would go and check her out and she talks about how women. You know we're walking around in our head right, we know this. Many of you guys listening can relate to that and we are constantly diverting the energy from the neck up. We are forgetting about 80% of our human experience, which involves all of the feel good hormones, all of the feel good organs, everything that we want to be experiencing life with and through it's found in our body. Our intuition is found in our body or what we actually need, right when we feel hunger in our body, we feel pain in our body, we feel like we have to go to the bathroom. So connecting to our body is so freaking important.
Speaker 1:But so many of us are walking around, we're at like 0% in our body and then we're trying to just like feel good and enjoy our life and be physically intimate with our partner and just go to 100% turn on, and it doesn't work that way. So she really recommends walking around and creating kind of your own pleasure. She doesn't call it a pleasure practice that's kind of my term but she talks about walking around in a slow simmer. So at like 70% turned on, and what we mean by turned on, this is what I really want you to get. This is not what comes before. Sexuality is sensuality, okay. So you have to wake up your senses. Every single day, every single day. This should be one of the first things we do.
Speaker 1:Many of us are prioritizing working our body, working out to our edge, where we are literally our muscles are shaking or we're completely cutting out certain food groups and really honing in on our nutrition. We're doing extreme, but this is something you can do every day, and it doesn't have to be extreme, and the benefits are tremendous, tremendous. So a pleasure practice for you could simply be grabbing your coffee or tea and using your senses to enjoy this drink before you move on with your day. So what does the drink smell like? What does it taste like? Right, can you notice all of those? And here's why that connects to your desires, because your desires are feelings in your body as you imagine, as you look, as you gravitate towards something, someone, someplace, right, right, whether it's like you know, a new job or a relationship, like. We experience these feelings inside of ourself. That's desire, and we lose connection with that, and desire feels good.
Speaker 1:So, again back to what I was saying in the beginning, when we're just focused on feeling the uncomfortable emotions, I think that's great and very much needed. Don't forget to also remember what it feels like to feel good, like getting out of the shower and putting on lotion slowly. What does it feel like to give yourself a massage? Is one side more sensitive than the other? Do you prefer light touch, firm touch? This is something I do in all of my women's groups. It's one of the first things that I start with because it's so important.
Speaker 1:We keep trying to connect to our desires, create more pleasure, get into our feminine energy in a very masculine way, in a very formulaic way, like we're getting up and we're making sure we meditate for 10 minutes and then we're journaling here and then we're saying our affirmations 10 times. Right, if any of you guys feel called out, there's nothing wrong with that. But you're not designed to be in the same energy every single day. So if you are creating that and you're calling that your self-care or your pleasure practice, I'm sure none of you have called it a pleasure practice up until after this message, after this episode, everyone will be hi, nice to meet you. My name is Susie. Do you have a pleasure practice? That's going to be like everyday language for us. That's my hope anyways.
Speaker 1:And this brings me to another way that you can incorporate a pleasure practice into your morning routine Instead of making it the same every single morning. And again, if that is you, there is nothing wrong with that. If that suits you and fills you up, that's amazing. I would be sort of curious what happens on the days you can't do your morning routine. Do you fall apart? How do you flow with life and what I would really invite you into. If you're wanting to do more of what I teach, which is feminine embodiment work and really tuning into what your body is communicating, I would do this practice. I would create a pleasure box and again, we've defined what pleasure is.
Speaker 1:So, no, it's not like dildos and like oil lube, it's none of that. It is, in fact, it's everything that awakens your senses. So put your favorite tea in there, put a essential oil. Maybe you do put a nice smelling lotion all natural oat lotion, beeswax, chapstick, right. Maybe you have something in the morning that you could like, a special lozenger or something like that. That's honey or elderberry, and you could just kind of suck on that in the morning and sort of wake up that sense. But that's what a pleasure box is, and you get to wake up and you get to go okay, a, how can I wake up all my senses? Or B, what is my body craving today? Maybe you have your headphones in there and you're like I just want to put on music and I want to move. I want to move my hips, I want to move my body.
Speaker 1:So a pleasure practice is can you give yourself time throughout the day? Specifically, you could do it in the morning with your first hot cup of coffee, or you can create a pleasure box. But can you actually connect with things that feel good, that smell good, that taste good, that make you just feel all yummy inside? That comes in through your senses. Many of us are taught it comes in from something outside of us or from achievement. But no, we've actually been gifted this amazing, beautiful body that can experience joy and pleasure and desire in very simple moments Seeing the tulips sprouting up during the season and all of the colors moments. Seeing the tulips sprouting up during the season and all of the colors right, seeing the green come back on the trees, seeing the sky shift, seeing the grass sprout up, like whatever it is for you, seeing the wind play in your baby's hair Can you slow down and use your senses and notice and this is going to provide more pleasure for you in the everyday moments in your life, in your body. And then, as you start to do that, you wake up your connection with your desire.
Speaker 1:And that's the missing piece. We think we have to go talk to someone to figure out what I want. I just have to keep talking about it. And don't get me wrong, there's a time and a place for that. I mean, I do that in my coaching sessions. There is absolute benefit to processing out loud and yet if you are talking about I just don't even know what I like anymore. You've got to be A taking action, going out and experimenting, but you've also got to be tuning into your body as you're doing these different experiences. You are not going to figure this out in your mind. So a pleasure practice that's my invitation for you guys. It is to create a pleasure practice. Make it your own, do it something that you can maintain.
Speaker 1:Another just example I want to give you that you guys can you guys can also do is every time setting, just setting like hourly alarms throughout the day. You can do this one time, you can do this every day during the week and you can kind of pick where your alarms go. Maybe you pick it for you know, once you get up in the morning, once you drop the kids off, like certain aspects in your day where you know that you're really shifting gears. So maybe you're going from mom mode to work mode or work mode back to mom mode, or maybe you're going from being the interviewee to being interviewed. Whatever it looks like for you Maybe you have a mid-date lunch date with your husband and you really want to get out of business mode but setting alarms throughout the day, and I want you to just label it how are you feeling? And let it just be this way to sort of tune in to what am I feeling in this moment. But then here's the key, and you can even label your alarm like this this is the question you get to ask how can I make this moment more pleasurable? Okay, or my mentor used to say how can you make this moment more delicious? And really at first I laughed when she said that, but now I'm constantly doing it.
Speaker 1:We have a long car ride. What can I do to make it more pleasurable? Go get a pillow, go get a warm blanket, go get a USB charger for my heating pad. Bring that, bring my headphones, bring nourishing snacks. What can I do to make it more pleasurable? You're transitioning from work back to mom mode. You're in the car. What can I do to make this time more pleasurable? I want to freaking jam out to Whitney Houston. Okay, put on Whitney Houston, right, but we are not tuning in to what would be more pleasurable and so, therefore, we're not connected to what's pleasurable, what's desirable for us, what feels good for us.
Speaker 1:And guess what, when we don't know what we like, what we enjoy, what turns us on, what makes us happy, we can't tell the people around us. When we spend our entire time just talking to people, either about what they're doing wrong or about what other people are doing wrong, we are missing an opportunity to go. Hey, let me share about me. Let me tell you what I love. I love when you guys do this, I love when my partner does it, I love when my boss does it, I love when my kids do this. I love when I get up before the kids. I love when I see the sunrise. Like, what is it that you love? And why are you waiting until you know the once a year when you get to experience whatever you say it is that you want? Why aren't we experiencing pleasure and desires every single day, in every single moment?
Speaker 1:And that is the invitation for you today is to create your own pleasure box or, I'm sorry, your own pleasure practice, whether it's through a pleasure box, through just enjoying a warm cup of coffee or a nourishing meal, and engaging your senses, really engaging your senses. This is supposed to look different every day. This is supposed to actually create energy inside of your body, because you should be moving how you want to move right, and this is all like. This is kind of a behind the scenes practices for me. This is something I do every day and I am not somebody that I consider consistent. I'm very consistent in this.
Speaker 1:I do my daily meditation, which to me is very masculine energy, and then I move into movement. I move into pleasure, I move into something that would feel really good, whether it's a breath work, or I'm just moving my my hips, or I'm putting on a song and just letting myself move, or I'm enjoying I'm not having coffee anymore, so that warm drink is hard for me to do but I'm playing with my pleasure box, I'm putting lotion on, I'm giving myself a self-massage. What can you do first thing in the morning and then throughout the day to start to engage with your body in a pleasurable way, non-sexually. This is something you guys can do at work, but it is one of the most, I think, secrets out there to feminine embodiment work, and I don't want it to be a secret. I want every woman to try this and start practicing with this. And again, if this is something where you need fresh perspective, fresh ideas, you want accountability, you want to be able to talk to other women that are doing this, because I know when I've run groups before, the biggest complaint is oh my gosh, it's so hard for me to slow down, it's so hard for me to actually enjoy the moment, and so it does take a group, concerted effort and the energy of everybody going in on this, and this is something that you will get in my group, fully Alive Again.
Speaker 1:It is one of the first aspects I teach whenever I'm teaching women to get out of their head it's. Can you make it enjoyable? Let's not move to the? Can you sit with your sadness? No, can you like? Yeah, I'm like rubbing my arm the entire time I'm recording this podcast because it feels so good to me, or I'm holding a weighted ball right To just feel really grounded. But where I have this, another like quick tip is I put like a foam roller underneath my desk. So when I'm sitting at the computer, I'm constantly moving my foot and just engaging in all sorts of different feel good ways throughout the day, and it keeps me in both. It keeps me very, very much engaged in that feminine energy in my pleasure, and it makes it that much easier to discern my desires, like my true desires.
Speaker 1:So, anyways, I hope that that was helpful to you guys. I hope that that explains what a pleasure practice is. I hope this sparked some ideas. I want to just say if there was something I said specifically that you felt drawn to, maybe you went back and listened to it again. Maybe you took specific notes on that, maybe you just sort of perked up when I said it. Listen to that. That is how your desires speak to you. It's through a bodily experience. So listen to that, trust that and commit to that.
Speaker 1:Commit to drawing on a feeling like that every single day and throughout your day. That's how you keep your life juicy. That's how you. That's why I am such a yes for women feeling good. It's not this like and this goes beyond going to take that bubble bath or going to get that massage or facial right, or working out every day in high intensity, which we are not supposed to be doing as women. Sorry, but this goes beyond all of those once in a month things, once in a season thing. And this is how can we, as powerful women bring pleasure into our everyday life. Okay, so, creating your own pleasure practice that you can easily commit to and come back to time and time again and sprinkle it throughout your day and constantly ask yourself this question how can I make it more pleasurable? And I promise you pretty soon, if you commit to this, do it we're at the beginning of the month. Do it consistently for the rest of the month and just see, just notice, notice what shifts for you, notice what things you start to make more time for in your life. Right, it's all connected, you guys, and when a woman is connected to her desires, when a woman feels good, the whole house feels good, the whole world feels good. Like we are that powerful.
Speaker 1:And so I just want to leave you with some things that are going on and coming up in Find Her Wild Coaching, in case this is really resonating and you're wanting support. So, first of all, in the show notes, I am going to drop the link for my wait list for Fully Alive. This is my signature program. It is both self-paced mixed with live coaching as well. Everything is going to be recorded, but you're going to be in a community of women learning my tuned in and turned on process to really help you break through the layers and the shoulds and the rules and the limitations that are on us that are keeping us disconnected from living a life that feels good. Is it fear? Is it shame, is it overwhelm? There's so much here and there's so much that I get to do within, fully Alive, for you, but it's allowing all of you to come back online and it's a really, really cool process.
Speaker 1:You will walk away so deeply connected to yourself, your purpose and to those in your life. You will learn amazing communication tools. You will learn how to show up in your body, rooted in your body, not in your head, not in your judgments. You are going to learn how to open and feel safe, being open again, and every relationship you have from this moment on will blossom, and that is a I guess I can't guarantee that because some relationships absolutely come to completion, but you, your relationship with yourself, will soar and it's it's such an incredible program. I'm absolutely obsessed with the process I get to walk you guys through. So, just for the last end of this month, the wait list is open. You can get on that wait list and I will be contacting each and every one of you in the coming weeks and you will be getting a special discount because you're on the wait list, so you're not committing to the program, you're just saying, hey, I want to learn more, go ahead and get on that list.
Speaker 1:That's below. And then I want to remind you guys, my monthly virtual breathwork class is April 28th, so it's always going to be the last week of the month. This month it's on Sunday, april 28th. That's 7.30 pm. Eastern Standard Time. Eastern Standard Time.
Speaker 1:And the theme is all about reclaiming your voice. So if you are new to my world, if you are new to feminine embodiment work, if you are new to breath work, get in the room. It's only $27 to get a registration link. You will get everything sent to your inbox. You can do it from the privacy of your own home. It's live. I will walk you through an incredible journey of you guys remembering your voice, remembering what it is that you most desire and how to ask for that. So it's going to be an incredible journey. We'd love to invite you there and, as always, I love you all. I'm grateful for you. If this landed or resonated, come and find me on social media, let me know, tag me Do all the things Leave a review, rate it, share it with a friend or family. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you and I'll see you next week.