Ever felt like you're juggling too much as an entrepreneurial parent, especially as a mom? Brenda Noon-Schmidt of Kickass Modern Mom joins us to unravel the secrets to creating a robust support system that doesn't just keep you afloat, but lets you swim gracefully through the ever-demanding tides of work and family life. Together, we delve into the synergy of feminine and masculine energies, and the transformative effects of embracing community to redefine support in our fast-paced world.
Our conversation takes a deep dive into practical wisdom—from leveraging organizing systems to smartly outsourcing support, ensuring that 'someday' becomes today. I confess my own struggles with following through on projects and how a blend of technology and good old pen and paper can be your allies in keeping the chaos at bay. Brenda and I explore the notion of a house manager, the potential keystone to harmonizing your home life, and the unexpected benefits of teaching our children responsibility through community participation.
Lastly, we address the elephant in the room—the guilt and hesitation that often accompany the decision to seek help. We break down the affordability myth, challenge limiting beliefs, and provide a sneak peek into an exciting five-week challenge that will guide you through the process of integrating a house manager into your family's rhythm. Because here, we're not just about surviving the hustle; we're about thriving with a little help from our friends, tech, and each other. Join Brenda and me as we chart the course to a more organized, productive, and fulfilling life.
Let's Connect.
Free guide: 5 ways to find Calm: Get the guide here
Come find me on Instagram: @findherwildcoaching
Check out my website and my offerings here
Ever felt like you're juggling too much as an entrepreneurial parent, especially as a mom? Brenda Noon-Schmidt of Kickass Modern Mom joins us to unravel the secrets to creating a robust support system that doesn't just keep you afloat, but lets you swim gracefully through the ever-demanding tides of work and family life. Together, we delve into the synergy of feminine and masculine energies, and the transformative effects of embracing community to redefine support in our fast-paced world.
Our conversation takes a deep dive into practical wisdom—from leveraging organizing systems to smartly outsourcing support, ensuring that 'someday' becomes today. I confess my own struggles with following through on projects and how a blend of technology and good old pen and paper can be your allies in keeping the chaos at bay. Brenda and I explore the notion of a house manager, the potential keystone to harmonizing your home life, and the unexpected benefits of teaching our children responsibility through community participation.
Lastly, we address the elephant in the room—the guilt and hesitation that often accompany the decision to seek help. We break down the affordability myth, challenge limiting beliefs, and provide a sneak peek into an exciting five-week challenge that will guide you through the process of integrating a house manager into your family's rhythm. Because here, we're not just about surviving the hustle; we're about thriving with a little help from our friends, tech, and each other. Join Brenda and me as we chart the course to a more organized, productive, and fulfilling life.
Let's Connect.
Free guide: 5 ways to find Calm: Get the guide here
Come find me on Instagram: @findherwildcoaching
Check out my website and my offerings here
Hello and welcome back to Wake Up and Thrive. I'm so excited to share today's interview with you guys. I am bringing on Brenda Noon-Schmidt, who I will introduce in a moment. She is such a unique offering and yet I'm left here today specifically wondering why isn't this standard right? I'm sitting at home, it's a rainy day, I have a sick kid at home, I'm on day one of my cycle, the house stuff is piling up, business stuff is piling up, break is coming up. I know I sound like a womp-womp Debbie Downer victim victim. That's also the reality of my life in this season. I'm literally just stuck with how am I going to do it all? This interview could not be coming at the most perfect time for me and I hope it touches you as well. Let's bring back the idea of doing life with a community and a village. Let's all go out and get ourselves a hero. House manager, plug in your headphones, sit back, enjoy this interview Before we dive in.
Speaker 1:I do want to remind you guys to register for this month's breath work. It's all about creating clarity. It's going to be a phenomenal 60-minute session that will leave you so ready for the spring. It'll leave you ready to spring into action, spring into clarity, and I'm just really excited to bring this to you guys. Get registered today. It's only $27 to join. If you haven't breathed with me before, it is an incredible and also very unique pattern of breath. I hope you'll join us. I also want to encourage you guys to grab my free guide with five of my favorite somatic tools to help you move from anxiety to calm in a matter of minutes, because that's what we need. We need tools that work, and that work quickly. Go ahead and grab that guide. If you don't have it already. It will be going away soon. I want to encourage you to grab it and, without further ado, let's dive into today's episode.
Speaker 1:Hi, my name is Bridget and this is my podcast, wake Up and Thrive. My intention for this space is to help women around the world live more awake, aligned and truly alive. I believe wholeheartedly that we are designed to live, feel and experience the full range that life has to offer, and in doing so, we can live fully turned on in all areas. My story began with sobriety and has since been an initiation into rediscovering parts of myself that I forgot about or had abandoned. Learning to reclaim all of who I am has been the greatest gift of living awake, and together we will go on a journey of helping you to do the same. You can expect to learn practical tools to help you connect deeper to yourself, your purpose and those in your life. All you need is an open heart and an open mind. So if you're ready, it's time. It's time to wake up and thrive. Okay, good morning and welcome back to Wake Up and Thrive.
Speaker 1:I have a Brenda Noon-Schmidt here today and we have such an exciting conversation for you guys. So Brenda and I just recently connected in an online networking group and, like good networkers and entrepreneurs, we immediately started chatting right after the call and we had a lot in common. We both love adventure, we are both entrepreneurs and we work a lot with women in helping them enjoy their life, do the things that really light them up. So I'm excited for this conversation because I would say, for context purposes for those listening I love to help women really lean into their feminine energy, but we also talk. We all have masculine energy as well. Right, that's what we need to get things done.
Speaker 1:But so often women at least from my perspective have usually show up in a wounded masculine energy where they're go, go, go, go, do, do, do, do and then they burn out. And so when I saw what Brenda does out in the world, I thought it was super unique and I had to bring her on to really explain a little bit about how we can help women specifically. But I know you work with families, create structure and systems in their business, home and relationships, and then I love what she says here. It's so that we can have more freedom, time and energy to start living some days today. Yes, please, more of that. So we're going to dive into how to ask for support, how to receive support, and kind of what does it mean to really create true balance amongst all the hats that we wear? So, brenda, welcome to Wake Up and Thrive. I'm so happy you're here. Thank you, thanks for having me.
Speaker 2:I'm so excited to be here. This is so good yeah.
Speaker 1:Now, that was my introduction, but I would love you to just explain to my audience more in depth who you are and how you got to where you are today.
Speaker 2:Absolutely so. I am leading a movement is really what I'm doing, and so my business is Kickass Modern Mom, and it's all about coaching entrepreneurial families and moms how to implement household outsourcing and family systems so that they can spend more meaningful time with their families in their off hours. They can get more done in their businesses. They can go further faster. So, yeah, like you said, it's all about creating. My jam is creating the systems and the structure and the support that you need so that you can just go and be your wild mama self. Like I, one of my favorite things is adventuring with my kids, so everything that I'm trying to do in my house is so that I can go and do more of that with them, and so we just love being curious in nature, we love going, exploring. Like you hear about whatever new museum or something opening up in town and I'm like, yes, let's go do that. So I'm all about finding great support system within my house that frees me up to go do more of that, because I just want to show my kids the world, I just want to expose them to as much as I possibly can, and so, for me, I am a very organized person and so it was very natural for me.
Speaker 2:My husband's been an entrepreneur like forever. We like started he started his business when we first started dating, and so we've been together for 20 something years now, like with all the dating and marriage combined. And through that whole journey I've been this behind the scenes person of all his businesses. And I did used to work in corporate. I used to work a finance job in corporate and I would wake up super early to go work in New York stock exchange hours and take my baby to daycare at like 530 in the morning and so, yeah, so I had that grind. I was talking about the like burnout, stay from the hustle, and so I lived that part of my life and I was like, yeah, I don't want to do this forever. I want to actually spend more time with my family. I want to see my husband. Like we would never even see each other because of our schedules. So for me it was. It was like you know what? Like this isn't the way that it's going to happen, this isn't the vehicle for the life I want to live. So I need to change it, and so I was a stay at home mom for a good while and then I was kind of a behind the scenes support person for him and his businesses. He has three different businesses and so I'm like the VA every time he's in between VA's, I'm like the travel agent for him and his team every time they're going places. I'm like that fill in, like like, oh, there's not somebody already doing that here, you're going to do it.
Speaker 2:And so it forced me to take all my strengths that I had from working in a workplace of, like you know, having the Trello boards and having the CRMs and having these, you know, and the calendars and and linking up shared calendars and all these kinds of things.
Speaker 2:It made me utilize that in a new way, which was in this entrepreneurial family kind of way, so it would keep our house organized and his businesses organized with all his employees. And then I just started implementing that into my own household also, where I was like, okay, well, like this kid has gymnastics on this day and this kid has ballet and all these different things that I'm like let's have these Trello boards, let's have these shared calendars, let's like I you're going to laugh Like it was like things like um, like taking out the trash. You know the things that I'm responsible for the things he's responsible for and I would actually schedule like our trash needs to be out by Wednesday morning, so Tuesday night I would put an entry on our shared calendar for take out the trash and send him an invite link to that and so it's like silly things like that, but it makes it happen without it having to be those nagging conversations, and so it's just basically like creating expectations that are up here and putting them somewhere so it's communicated effectively.
Speaker 2:Because what is it? They say that, um, the unmet expectations.
Speaker 2:Quote that I don't remember yeah, resentment, yes, yeah, it's like disappointment comes from unmet expectations, and so it's not that you need to lower your expectations, it's that you need to more effectively communicate those expectations to the people so that they don't disappoint you. And so if there's something in your family that you keep wanting your kids to do, or your husband to do, or other extended family members, you have certain expectations of them, like with childcare or something. It's all about just commuting, cating that, and sometimes it doesn't have to come out of your mouth. It doesn't have to be like a conversation in words. It can be in all these other systems and ways. It can be drafted in an email, it can be, you know, like in a group thread, it can be in a shared calendar.
Speaker 2:All these kind of things is another great way to express your expectations of people, and so that's what it just was like, out of a necessity for helping him, that then I started implementing these things in our household, and I would go to the same business conferences with him. I would watch the same webinars, I would read the same business books and self-development books and everything he was applying in his business as far as growing and building a team around him so he could delegate to them and creating the processes that they would follow. Like they had this like binder system and I was like I want a binder system in my house, oh, wow. And so it's like, I want like a binder that has like all your instructions for like the laundry and the emergency contacts and like if somebody dog sits for you and like where to find you know the.
Speaker 1:I want to pay someone to create that for me.
Speaker 2:I have it, I will send it to you. It's a Google doc, I'll send it to you. It's actually I have a link. Anybody. I'll drop a link that takes people right to it If anybody wants that in their house. Yeah, I have a binder system. Yeah, and just like checklist having like simple checklist, it's easy for kids to follow, or if you're hiring help, which is like a big thing that I teach is is getting the household outsourcing and so having clear checklist for those people to follow, and also having a place where, like, the one off projects can go or the like. Oh wait, this other thing that I didn't think of like being flexible in the structure as well, because it's always changing.
Speaker 2:You're always like it's not like you said it and it's going to be like that forever, Like you said it. And then you're like why are we still following this?
Speaker 1:This is trash by now we're in a different season?
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, and so being okay with changing your mind, like you can change your mind tomorrow if you want you can. You could think this is the best idea in the world today and immediately change your mind tomorrow, and that's okay. And that's like. The beauty of all the structure is people feel like they get locked into it, but no, it's very fluid.
Speaker 1:Well, and you said something that I thought was really interesting. First of all, I need a Brenda in my life. I am definitely somebody. I have four kids and I am the way I describe it is I'm very like organized in my disorganized chaos. We just moved to an electronic shared calendar and it has been a game changer. Game changer for Paul and I I mean I now I don't send him invites to do chores, but I'm going to start doing that. I send him invites like I'm on my period before you send the invite.
Speaker 2:This is the key, though, like everyone's like, oh my gosh, I'm totally going to do that, so I don't have to have a conversation. Have the conversation that you're going to be moving the conversation over there, otherwise it just can become passive, aggressive also, True, yeah, so it'd be like hey, you know what? I had this great idea for everything that we have to keep remembering that happens on an automatic basis. I'm just going to create these calendar entries for us all to see and get reminded about.
Speaker 1:Like have that conversation? Do you just do it like an event? Yeah, do you just do it like an event? Yeah, I just have this recurring event?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I have that, and then I invite the person that it applies to. Yeah. So it's on both of our calendars.
Speaker 1:Because, I mean, my first business coach said, like anything, if it's not scheduled, it's not going to get done, and so I love the idea of you know, I like freedom, and so you said something in the beginning that I think is really interesting and important to talk about. So a lot of women, a lot of moms, will sit here and say I'm one of them, like I have such an ADD brain, I'm very creative, right Entrepreneurs. And so the idea of structure and symptoms or symptoms systems and Trello board, like I could feel my body go, oh, like that's a lot of work. So what? I would love you to talk to you because before we hit play, you said it's the structure that actually gives you the freedom, and I think that's such a misconception. Yes, I know it was for me and my journey, and it still is very overwhelming for me to create new systems and all of that. But talk about that. Talk about for your clients, like what you've seen before they start working with you, and then how the system actually provides more freedom.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just so you know, my dogs might start barking in a minute. Oh good, hopefully my microphone doesn't pick them up. There's somebody walking through the door. So this is real life. Yep, it is real life. This is mom life, mom's real life. So, yeah, I absolutely, because I also in like an ADHD squirrely brain kind of person.
Speaker 2:I am a very fast starter, but I do not always close up the loops, like finish the circles, which is why I have to kind of leave myself a trail of breadcrumbs with these things that I use, so that it like brings me back to that thing. And I also. So I use those systems for that. And I also use the people I compliment myself like. So the people I hire in my household.
Speaker 2:They are the type of people who close the loops, they're the follow through people, and so, for every new idea I have and I'm like, oh, what if we reorganize this over here? And then I order all the Amazon pieces and I have this great vision and I even make a Pinterest board if I'm feeling spicy, but then, like, actually building the dumb furniture thing and organizing that corner of the house like might not happen on the schedule that I set out to, like I might just like never, ever get to completion stage. And so that's where I can go to my house manager and say hey, I have this amazing vision for this part of the house. I want to get this organized. I'm thinking I'll even show her the Pinterest pictures, or whatever, and say here's all these boxes of Amazon shelves and things that need to be built like.
Speaker 1:Have at it and like a fur finish. Sorry, I have to do a timeout. You have a household manager, yes, share. Well, let me first have you answer the question about how support like improve, and then please tell us what a house manager is and how do we get one.
Speaker 2:Yep, I'll tell you about this in a sec, for sure, yeah, it's like. It's like mind blowing and it is life changing and every mom needs one. But yeah, the structure that I put in place, yes, it does feel overwhelming. And also, this was like something that my previous self would have.
Speaker 2:Even even though I'm an organized person and I like putting like my underwear color coded, I still like move so fast, like that sometimes I just can't keep up with myself and I do. I get like the squirrel brain. I'm like, oh here, no here, no here. And so I um, yeah, my previous self definitely would have been more intimidated by these things.
Speaker 2:And so do not think you need to do everything all at once, just starting one spot, like if, if, think of, like what is the thing in your life that is the most chaotic, that, like every time you think about that, you're like I need to get that in order. So, if it's like the schedule, like you keep like missing appointments or you keep running late to take the kids to soccer or whatever, if it's like the schedule, that is the bane of your existence right now, like work on that and just create, start putting all appointments in one spot instead of multiple spots, and definitely have them somewhere that's not just up here in your head. They have to go somewhere, they have to live somewhere, like right.
Speaker 2:I'm on a piece of paper but just have like I have, where, like one of the biggest things is like go get yourself like a really cool, beautiful, like to do list, but you're planning, oh yeah, like I. It just has blank paper inside and I and I carry it around with me everywhere and always has the pen right in it, because then I don't have to scramble for that. And so every time things go in my brain that I'm like, oh, I have to remember to register the kids for gymnastics because that session's coming up and they got to be renewed.
Speaker 2:Oh, I need to schedule their physicals. Oh, I need to go drop off that Amazon return because the 30 days is almost up.
Speaker 2:Like all those things that you're like driving and you think about why you're driving. Then it's like okay, as soon as you stop, then you can write them down. Or the other trick that I use is Rev. R-e-v is an app that is a voice memo app, and I just talk to myself and record myself memos and you can even have it transcribed, so that then it transcribes it and emails it to you so then later you can just copy and paste that into whatever other place you have your list, and so it's like or like texting myself. That's another one. You're just like hey Siri, remind me to do this when I get home. Or hey Siri, text Brenda to order apples right. And so just texting yourself or using the R-I just realized I've never heard of Rev.
Speaker 1:I love that you're bringing in old school paper to pen. But also use technology. We're in a high tech-.
Speaker 2:R-It's like find what works for you.
Speaker 2:I like Trello boards, but that's only because I came from an environment that used to have similar systems in the workplace, so it was like my brain was already trained for that and so it easily went to that.
Speaker 2:And also my husband uses them for his business and so anytime I was having to like hop in, that's what, like it was the language that we spoke. And so if there's somebody who doesn't even know what Trello is or Asana or any of those project management management softwares, if they've never even heard of it before, that's probably not your first thing you should go to, because it's going to be very overwhelming. But just start using Siri, just start using Alexa, like start like the things that are already around that you're like and the coolest thing is like like you know how you feel, like sometimes you're like man, but I'm just not very tech savvy. With all this stuff it's like the best thing to mess up on, because it's just in your car, like nobody else is hearing you, so you just like say the dumbest, like request to it and then see what it says back to you and you're like oh, I can do that.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, no, I love that. Okay, so lots of systems and schedule scheduling has been a big one I'm going to. I mean, the biggest thing that stood out for me is we keep forgetting to put the trash out the night before. Yeah, it was a problem for us too, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2:So now, before we're going to talk about my house manager and also other roles of people supporting you, because here's the number one thing is like you can put in all kinds of systems galore, but if you're the only person in charge of all this stuff, you will still fail, even if you have the best systems in place. If you do not surround yourself with support or any kind of a team to help implement these things, like you just do not have enough energy and time to do all of it yourself, no matter how organized you are, it's just impossible. And so the other piece of the puzzle it's not just about the systems, but it's also about the outsourcing, and that can be somebody that you pay, or it can be somebody that you don't pay like. It Can just be like like my neighbor she had surgery and for a little while she just needed someone to roll out her trash. So every time we roll out our trash, my kids would go next door and grab her Trash and roll it out. She outsourced to us.
Speaker 2:Yes, okay, I already had a pool guy that was already coming on Tuesdays, and so I feel like it was like right after my my youngest was born and he's like a newborn and I'm just like in like that Weird state of like I don't even know what day it is and so I would be like, oh must be Tuesday again because he's here, which reminds me I need to put the trash off. And I just was like you know what, can you do me the biggest favor? Can you please just like when you're here, before you leave, will you just take my trash to the end of the street for me, please? And he's already here. I'm not even paying right like yes, he's already in my ecosystem and I'm gonna do this, and that was like the easiest way. That then it's like one less thing off on my plate and and it sounds like, oh, that's so easy.
Speaker 2:The biggest hurdle in that is like our own mindset, that we feel so bad. I ask for that help and I will tell you, oh my gosh, my pool guy. He was like this older German guy who didn't live near his family. They all live back in Germany and so he loved my family and he loved getting to like see my kids every time he would come and he felt so much Contribution and joy Rolling my trash out for me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would have never asked him, like if I would have been like, oh, I don't want to ask him because I'll put him out, or it's a burden for him, or who am I to ask him to roll out my trash, right? But I would have deprived him of that joy and I wouldn't have given him the opportunity To get to be a bigger part of our family in that way. So we think that asking for help is like we're wronging the other person, but it's the opposite. By holding that stuff in and trying to do it all ourselves, yes, we're actually wronging the people who want to help us, who really want to like be more a part of our life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that perspective. I help a lot of women in their marriages and like receiving help and support from them. Yeah, it's the first place we start is you have to ask right, there is no man, you cannot read your mind. So I love that example. I also because I think and I'm curious you're the biggest roadblock your clients have. But I, as I'm hearing you talk and even as I'm about to hire my first VA, I know the. The number one limiting belief I had was just like I don't actually have. I Need the help. That's a given. There's no doubt I need the support. I don't know if I have the resources or I don't know if I'm making enough money to ask for the support, and I think that trips people up a lot and they don't understand that it's actually. It's freeing you up to you know, if you're in the entrepreneur space, make more money or yeah.
Speaker 1:Can you speak a little bit to some of the roadblocks people would have before we get to your house? Manager.
Speaker 2:Like yeah, no that is one of I will say that like the one of the first things that pops into everybody's mind, especially if you're like a stay-at-home mom and you feel like, well, I'm not making my own money yes, I am managing the household finances, I am managing the inflows to outflows, all these things that are happening but you just kind of feel like, who am I to hire away part of my job? Well, I will say one they are not your jobs. If you think back to our ancestors and a lot of cultures, still those jobs are being handled by many people, not just one person. So let's get back to that mentality of having that village of support around us. A village is not one person. One person does not make a village. So us be feeling like, who am I to hire away these jobs? Like this is my job? No, it is not. It's an anybody job and anyone can do it or anything Like like Alexa can do some jobs and Siri can do some jobs, and then if you need to bring in other people, you can.
Speaker 2:But you think about like, like my ancestors. They came over and covered wagons in the 1800s and settled in Arizona and there was like one building and everybody's living in there and there's like a blacksmith and a leather worker that Saddles, and people who made the food and like did a little farming and then gathering the cattle and all these things. Everybody had these roles like. And then now we're like I'm this strong woman, I'm gonna do the blacksmith thing and the leather working and the whatever. Like.
Speaker 2:Obviously we don't do those particular jobs, but we are handling responsibilities in all these other areas. Yep, it's like the metaphor for like what that stands for in other places and so, like, let's get back to that idea that we can build our own village around us and if we don't have family or neighbors or that kind of built-in support system, then we can build our own village and we can do it with people who start out as strangers but turn into, like basically family members anyways, once they start working with us and and your kids get to be around these amazing role models when you yeah, you hire them into your house, but they really truly become part of your family ecosystem and they're just wonderful people that your kids get to learn from also, and so it's just a beautiful atmosphere.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, I'm really glad you brought that up because you're right, it is not. It is not our job when we decide to. I'm thinking of already like two to three clients out the top of my head that Just recently chose to stay home and how it is just it's assumed Sometimes by the spouse as well, but it's it's also an identity that we take on. Like I'm staying home, it's it's my privilege to get to stay home and I don't have to get up and go to this work 9 to 5. So I'm just gonna do it all. I'm gonna take it all off the plate.
Speaker 2:That was a big like coming to Jesus when you're a mom, you don't get to clock out at 5 o'clock. True, like you clock in, like if you're, if your kids are in school, you're clocking in at like 1, 30 or 2, because that's when the whole like mom taxi pickup schedule starts, and then you don't end up getting to like turn your brain off from mom stuff until like 9, 30, 10 o'clock, yep, and then also, and then, like last night, my kids in my bed in the middle of the night. So then I'm back into mom mode because I'm worried like is he okay and what's going on and right, so we don't get to clock out. So, because we don't clock out at 5 and have our evenings at 5, 30 and our and you know, like the corporate, like whenever we're all single people and you work a corporate job and you're like bye, okay, it's, I'm done for the day. I'm gonna go to happy hour and hang out with my friends, okay, so, since we're not getting that, then we have to take our evenings at 10 am.
Speaker 2:Yeah, 10, 30 am. Yeah, go take a nap at 10 am. Go, like sit on your back porch and look at birds and stare blankly into the sky. Yes, 30 am. Like you have to do your evenings at a different time of day because your mind and your body still needs that recharge yeah, you're not gonna get it at those other times. And if you're a mom and your business owner, yeah, as soon as you put your kids to bed, you're working back on your business again, right, and you're back in that space, in that brain space, or maybe you don't. Maybe you're like, no, I'm only gonna do it between, like, drop off and pick up. That's the only time I'm giving to this, which is also like you figure out your schedule, but it's like also Schedule yourself, like to actually eat lunch, and don't look at your phone, don't look at a screen while you're eating lunch. Like, enjoy that food oh yeah, hedgule downtime, really like.
Speaker 2:I have the last Friday of every month a three-hour block on my schedule for scheduled downtime, because if I don't put it there, it doesn't happen. Yeah, and that's whenever I go to like to the botanical gardens and I just wander aimlessly and. I tell myself I'm only allowed to use my phone to take pictures.
Speaker 1:I can't wish we lived near each other, brenda. We would have so much in common. Well, I'll come visit, but yeah.
Speaker 2:So it's like one get the help you need, the support, you need the systems, and then, as soon as that time is freed up, like as soon as you have your VA and you have a little more time Don't just do more hustling with it Make sure you put some recharge in that.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, I know I love this and I love that. What came to me as you were talking about hiring someone is it's like, yes, as a mom, we don't get to clock in or out, we don't get bonuses and sometimes our employees really suck. Let's be honest, right, those 10 year old, 9 year old employees. So actually go out and choose all my boxes.
Speaker 1:They kind of are yeah, so talk to me. Talk to me about yes. So those are definitely some of the roadblocks. I love the shift of like creating structure does give you the freedom to have that three hour downtime Right during the week to. And the other thing about, I think, scheduling your day is how often do we like go to put our head down on the pillow at the end of the night and think I'm exhausted? I know I did a lot, but what the hell did I do? Right, what did I actually? And so when you look back on your calendar, it's just this little like hit of I actually did a lot, I did a lot and I can celebrate that and I can come you know that cross it off the to do list. I always tell my clients to make a to do in a Wahoo list. So if you're going to do, laundry right, which I hate.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I hate doing laundry.
Speaker 1:So if you're going to do laundry like schedule in, I'm going to also listen to the podcast here or my favorite, and having bookends.
Speaker 2:I mean, like the easiest thing is like I use the five minute journal, the offer of Amazon or wherever, or go directly to their website it's actually cheaper there, they have good deals. But the five minute journal, it has a morning prompt and an evening prompt and it truly only takes five minutes. It's not like a full long journal that then you're like man, that I went into a black hole for three hours. But it's like it starts out and it just says name three things you're grateful for, like when you first wake up, and then it has you set intentions for the day. So they're not even like goals or to do list, but just intentions.
Speaker 2:Like sometimes for me that's drinking more water, or sometimes for me I tell myself I want to hum. I want to hum during the day, Cause, like you know, when you're like immediately feel lighter, and so you set intentions for the day, and then you see an affirmation and like something about yourself, like what you're feeling, and so sometimes it's like I feel empowered or I feel unstoppable, and other times I feel content and so I'll put whatever that is, and then at the end of the day there is three amazing things that happened, and so it's kind of just recapping and sometimes it's like the things you checked off your list, the big goals that you accomplished that day, Like like you're like my podcast launched or like my website launched or whatever right Like those can go on there, but sometimes it's like I actually fed myself on time today.
Speaker 1:Yes, you know, I had a 20 minute lunch.
Speaker 2:Yeah, or I took a nap, yeah, so. And then after that it has what did I learn? Or yeah, I think it's what I did. I learned it used. Their old ones used to say like what could have done better. They switched it now to say what did I learn which I like better?
Speaker 2:I do too, because like sometimes I write like I learned how to send emails for my business. Like sometimes it's like an actual thing. You learn like school. And other times I'm like I learned that I need to communicate differently with my middle child every time we are going to go out for an entire day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so the five minute journal.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the five minute journal and I can share a link with that also. But I love that because it's like one of those things where if you are feeling kind of like, okay, I need to corral myself in some way, it's just do that Like and I keep it in the bathroom. So that way, as soon as I wake up in the morning and I go pee, then I just sit and I write my quick like what I'm grateful for. And the best time to do is when you're actually kind of like sleepy and drowsy because things come out that you don't even realize you're feeling.
Speaker 1:No, I agree, we're thinking it.
Speaker 2:I keep it right and I pair it, and then of course we also pee right before we go to bed at night, Like even if we stay up and work on all these other things and we kind of go to bed, but then we get back out of bed and then we go back to bed again. We're going to go pee the last thing, and so you do that journal. So just pair it with whatever other routine you have and it makes it.
Speaker 1:I've never heard. I love. I'm a huge fan of habit stacking and I've never heard that habit stack. That's a great one.
Speaker 2:That's a great one, because mom's peeing is like a major part of our schedule For sure, after you have those babies, especially every hour you did? You asked a question that I just realized I didn't quite fully answer. Is that the affordability factor?
Speaker 2:that a lot of people have with hiring help and that's something that will pop into people's mind right off the bat is they will say, yeah, but I can't afford help. So it's not just the mindset of like I'm a stay at home mom and I don't feel right spending the money, but also the budget may be very tight because you're on one income and so you immediately will think, well, I can't afford that. So, like, I automatically opt out of this entire conversation because it doesn't apply to me, because I can't afford it. Well, I will say, like I want to, I want to be a little harsh, but I will say that when you do that to yourself, when you don't even think of the possibilities, then you are putting up the wall. And it actually isn't even about the money, it's about the letting go or it's about some other you know behavior that you have or limiting belief, and so we put up these walls to be able to opt out of a conversation. But that's not really what the issue is. And so for like, if you are on the tightest, tightest budget, you have so little money, there are still ways that you can get the help you need, like asking the people that you don't even have to pay, asking your neighbor to help you more, asking your in-laws or whoever it is.
Speaker 2:If you feel like no, I legit live in the middle of the country with, like, the mailbox at the end of the mile or whatever you know, I do not have anybody around me that I could ask for help. That's whenever you can really start examining like okay, where am I already spending money in an unproductive way? Right, like I knew before I had somebody helping me organize my house, I would go to Target and be buying all these bins and the cute baskets that I'm like this is finally going to solve all my organizational problems, because that problem I have in my living room, this is going to be the basket that solves that problem. Right, like, we end up using our money to solve these problems in other ways that don't actually solve it. Like it works for a little while and then it goes back to being the problem again, whereas if we took that exact same amount of money and actually hired somebody who, that is their strength.
Speaker 2:So it's like the 80-20 rule, right? Like let's focus on our 20% and let somebody else come into our 80% and use their 20%. Like that's their zone of genius. They're super organized, bring them in and they're going to just find, like things that already exist around your house. They're like oh you know, like I'm just going to take wrapping paper and put them on Amazon boxes and make them look really cute and then organize them with your kids, toys or whatever. You don't even need to buy stuff anymore. You just get the person to create the systems for you, so you don't even need to be like I'm not good at systems. I don't think I can do this. No, like, find the person that's good at systems, and these are people that are like high school kids, college kids.
Speaker 1:That was going to ask. So how do you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's like. This is like they would much rather do this than go work at Target or, you know, go like answer phones at a call center or whatever.
Speaker 1:What do you call them Like? If they're coming in to help, do you call them? Is this their? Is this your house manager? I call it.
Speaker 2:I call it a hero house manager. It's like the all-encompassing role, and so a lot of people, a lot of moms, will think they need a nanny. But it's like what if you had somebody doing childcare who also did your laundry while they're there, yes, or maybe while the baby's sleeping, the they chop up the onions and the potatoes to get it ready for dinner, or or they like help run around and go pick up your kids. You know stuff like that. And so instead of having just a nanny or just a babysitter or just a housekeeper that comes once a month or every other week, you take it and you like. It's like, as moms, right, we have so many jobs, right, and whenever you have, like, a nanny or a babysitter or a landscaper or these things, we're taking one of our jobs and handing it off, Whereas when you can find somebody as your hero house manager, you're taking you and basically cloning yourself and you have this other person that my jaw has dropped like as your cause.
Speaker 1:That's like every mom's dream, like I can't have my husband do this, this, this, because he's not me, right?
Speaker 2:And then the next thing everyone thinks is like well, there's no way that does that in my area. Well, no, this is a new thing. Like we are in new territory. Nowadays, you guys, the jobs are not the same as they used to be. People make money on the internet left and right, doing the most random things on TikTok, and like people don't go and work a corporate job and work their way up the ladder anymore like the olden days and get their pension and that whole thing Like everything is way more flux and fluid and creative now, which is awesome because you can find people with great talents and skills and then have them do this role that they may have never done before, but they're a perfect fit for. And they come in and then you're like.
Speaker 2:So you find like the person that you're just like I just need, like a really detailed person, a very organized, detailed person. You find them. You find like high school kid, college kid, or maybe it's like a baby boomer, retired lady and her kids don't live nearby and she like loves organizing and doing laundry and she would love to come and get paid and make a little extra money for that. You know, like gives her a sense of worth because she feels bad, she's not closer to her grandkids. Yeah, so then you know, and so it's like, the age range for this job is, like you know, 18 to 55 or 60, it's a huge age range and there's so many capable people you know they don't need a lot of work experience in this, but they can truly like change your life by coming in and complimenting you in this way.
Speaker 2:And the other wall that people will put up and they'll say is like well, I don't want my kids to grow up in like an entitled environment where they never learn how to do their own shores or their own laundry or clean up their own rooms and things like that. And the coolest thing is that we d sometimes Think that, as moms, were the only one that can teach them things, so they're not going to have it. Where they never learn it, they're actually just going to learn it from somebody else, and maybe how to do it even better than how we would have taught them, because this other person that comes in might have a way better way of doing it, or maybe they're more patient in the way they explain it.
Speaker 2:And so your kids are still going to learn, they're just learning from another village member. So, like if your mother-in-law or your own mother was super involved and came over and did your laundry every week and helped you prep, cook your food and organize your house for you and you had really good relationship with them, they were super fun to hang out with and they were teaching your kid, you would feel like, yeah, this is natural. Yeah, but then we have this resistance whenever it's like this kind of stranger person that comes in but that person also has such a magical relationship and often without that family baggage attached to it. Yes, because sometimes, whenever they're too close to you and they're your family members, they're like well, I used to do it this way. So if you're telling me you're doing it this way, are you saying I'm wrong? And then it's like no, there can be many ways to do it right.
Speaker 1:Yeah. You offer such like, yeah, you offer a lot of creativity. I think what came up for me, as you were even talking about it, is just doing a swap with the mom, like there are some chores that I am not good at, that are not my thing. And then there are some things I really thrive in and I wish, when my kids were younger, that I had talked to you and I created my, and I guess we sort of did right, like not really what's the word?
Speaker 2:I'm?
Speaker 1:looking at. Not like what is the word? I didn't actually give it a label, but I think moms are always seeking a village, and so what you're doing is actually creating more intentionality. That's what it is intentionality around bringing in the people that you actually need so that you can do what I teach women to do as well Create a life that wildly turns you on. You can't without support. You cannot without support, so you can't. Yeah, so this is. This has been an amazing conversation. I know I could talk for hours. I am curious again if someone's listening to this and they're like I want to hear a house manager, like how do I even get started? Do you help people sort of brainstorm where that manager would be really helpful for them? Or tell me a little bit more about how people could work with you and what that looks like when they work with you.
Speaker 2:Yep, we have, we, I have. I just get so excited for all the people I'm about to work with. But yeah, we, we really just like go into what each house needs, because it's different for every family. Like some families are all about travel, like they are. Like I want something that will help me pack for my trips and unpack when I get back and seamless Let me seamlessly transfer back and forth between these different things I do. And then there's other families who are like we just really want like more time together at home, like where we're not being pulled all these different ways, and so every family is going to need different things. And so you want to, in this process, like it's not so much just like, ok, let's go find a neighbor to go help me with this, but actually sitting back and realizing what is it that my family is all about? What are our family values? Creating a family mission statement.
Speaker 2:I walk people through the process of creating a family mission statement so that whenever you go to seek this help, you attract the people who complement that and who are on board with what you're trying to do. Like what's the big thing you're trying to do in this world? What's the legacy you're trying to leave behind. Ok, advertise that so you attract the people who want to get on board with that mission, because you don't want to get somebody in there.
Speaker 2:That, then, is also like they don't really see what the point is of what they're doing. Like they don't get why they're even doing this for you. Like you need to pass this vision, which then means you need to know it yourself, and so, yes, I have in my program. I walk people through this whole process where it's like OK, let's figure out what you're all about, what your family is all about. Like, what's your family motto, what's your thing? Like, if somebody described your family, if they knew you really well, they'd be like oh yeah, they're always doing this, or oh, they love this, or they're the such and such family. So what is that for you? So that when you find a house manager, you're going to find the house manager that is also the type of person that wants to make you more of that.
Speaker 2:I love that and so creating that foundation, then taking that information to attract, just like in business, you market your business to attract the clients that are aligned with that and the same thing in your family. You have to use kind of like business principles in this way, which you don't need to know them. This is why I got your back. But it's marketing your family, so you attract the people that compliment that. It's like the culture of the business, the culture of the family.
Speaker 2:And then, of course, everybody's like, oh my gosh, but I don't even know, like I need a lot of help, but how do I even tell them what they need to do? All right, I got you there. We got systems, we got printouts. It's like the checklist that you can put in place and I just like I'm like we don't need to reinvent the wheel. I made them once. Everybody else just use them. So so yeah, so there's I was telling you a little bit about this before we hit play is I'm about to be doing a challenge. So anybody who wants to get quick results it's going to be a five week challenge they want to get a house manager implemented into their house. Hero, house manager, clone yourself.
Speaker 1:So yeah if you have a date on when that challenge kicks off or not, yet it'll be.
Speaker 2:We don't have the exact date quite yet, but it'll be end of March slash beginning of April and then, if anybody is listening to this episode after that timeframe. We do have ongoing coaching programs that also do that and will probably actually be continuing to do challenges. The feedback I've gotten is that people need to help fast, and so five weeks is like a great amount of time to put your ad out there. Have enough time for people to respond to it. I walk you through how to interview them and what questions to ask to be able to know what type of person they are. Then interviewing them, onboarding them the documents you need all of that whole process. You don't even have to worry about it because it's all part of it.
Speaker 1:So I love this so much. I don't think I even realized what a house manager was before we started the interview.
Speaker 2:A lot of people don't. I didn't even know what it was like five years ago.
Speaker 1:Yeah but it makes sense?
Speaker 2:Yeah, because it's like I remember when my second child was like one year old and I hired a nanny and one, she started leaving like she would take my son on all these cool adventures while I stayed home and did all the chores and I was like girl, why is she doing the fun stuff? I?
Speaker 1:want to do the fun stuff.
Speaker 2:So a couple of times I was like and she was really organized, so when she was around the house she would automatically, if there was laundry out, she would just fold it and put it away for me and figure it out Like self-starter, you know, just organize. And I was like this is amazing. So I was like you know what? Like maybe like once a week when you come, instead of you taking my kid on an adventure, how about I take him on an adventure and then you do all the house stuff? Like can we do that instead? Yes, please, more please.
Speaker 2:No just like switching it, yeah, and so, or even like if you have a house cleaner, say, hey, every time you come, can you stay one hour extra? Yeah, and put away all my laundry. For me, like the easiest way to layer it on, like that's like before my house manager was like handling all the laundry that's how I first got started was just taking a person that's already there and you just layer on one more thing and they're like sure, whatever, and you pay them for one extra hour of work. And we think, like as moms, like there's no way they can get it done in one hour. Yeah, they can, cause they're not squirrely moms.
Speaker 1:Exactly, they don't have a limit and they're like, oh wait, but that doesn't go there and this needs to go there and remember what right?
Speaker 2:They actually just fold it, put it away.
Speaker 1:done Exactly in one hour and it's funny because I do think a lot of people get caught up on the money. But when there is an exchange, I think it reduces a lot of the guilt Absolutely.
Speaker 2:When I was in baby groups when my kids were all tiny and they used to do just like where after baby group, some of the moms would then like leave their kids to go run a couple errands real quick and the other moms were hanging out with the babies and they were already hanging out and doing baby play group, and so they'd rotate, and so every week a different mom got to go do and that was like when they would get their nails done or a hair done or some kind of self care. And so it was like this rotation where, like they're already people and those moms, like you know, like a brand new mom that's going to play group, she doesn't have a lot of energy, but like that's a great way to do it, whereas she's already a play group. It doesn't have to be this big undertaking for her.
Speaker 1:Great to get out of the house and yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. You are the perfect person for this role because you definitely bring in the creativity which I know moms need, right? We can't just do a one size fits all. We can't just go out and hire.
Speaker 1:We should do this in the first place, but be ready to hire, always be ready to hire, always be ready to hire. We need a house manager, so really filling that void with someone that's aligned is like. This is exactly why I brought you on. I knew there was so much synergy, so I love it.
Speaker 2:I need a house manager. I'll send my husband a calendar invite to. We need to talk about a house manager.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, he's going to be like what is all this calendar stuff? Well, I'm telling you, though, calendar is big.
Speaker 2:Yes, because, and especially when you're an entrepreneur because it's not just like you go, like I, when I work my corporate job, I would leave the house at a certain time every day and come home at a certain time every day, and on Fridays there was happy hour and that was about it.
Speaker 2:But when you're an entrepreneur, there's networking opportunities, there's like you're going here, you're going there, there's retreats, there's seminars, there's all these things. So your work hours end up being in all these different times of the day, and night and weekend and stuff like that, which is awesome for the freedom of it all, but it is hard to keep track of with all the other people in your house. So, having one spot where you put that we have multiple calendars, we're at that level now. So I have one calendar for my household staff to keep track of when all of them are coming and going, and then I have another calendar that's just for my business and then another one that's our shared calendar for our family. My husband is in a rock band, so there's a calendar for his band so all the bandmates can keep track of when the practices and shows are.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, you are. You are next level. You are next level, but I love it. I love it. I love that you help help women kind of approach this without the guilt and easefully, because I know that personally, like we talked about, structure and systems can be a little bit overwhelming, but I know how much it can serve you. So where can my client, my listeners, find you if they want to connect more and learn more about this challenge and or get into one of your programs?
Speaker 2:Yeah, on all the socials I am kickass modern mom and I run them all myself. So send me a DM and you can ask me any questions. I'll send you a little video message back, because that's my favorite way to respond is either video or audio. It's just like, feels more real. So you can find me on Instagram kickass my mom, tick tock YouTube. All of those same handle Brenda noon Schmidt. On Facebook for my personal one. And then there's also a I have a free community for moms, the kickass modern moms community. So anybody is welcome to join that. It's just where we all support each other and just share our hacks and just be our real selves and show our messy households and pictures and stuff. Love it so like share the funny stuff that the rest of the internet like doesn't show anymore.
Speaker 1:Right, no real.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, it's like unpolished, the unpolished part, where you can be real and show up with messy buns. So, yeah, come on over there. Anybody who wants to join that community there's amazing moms in there. There might be some that live right near you that you're going to meet in that group. Yeah, and so anybody who wants to check out my programs. My website is kickassmodernmomcom for the challenge. You'll see it listed on there and it's also. You just put slash challenge at the end of the website. But yeah, any questions you have reach out to me. I'll talk to you personally.
Speaker 1:I love having that like and that's exactly how we connected. Yeah, I reach out. And then it was like this conversation with a girlfriend. It was awesome.
Speaker 2:Yeah, with all this digital stuff nowadays, you still need that personal connection, and so for me, it's like really important that I actually like build relationships with other moms, because we need that. That's. That's the other piece of our village.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. I'm going to go join that Facebook group and I will link all of the all of your stuff and the way people can connect with you down below. But thank you so much for your time. Thanks for inspiring. I know you've inspired me to be a little bit more organized and system create some systems that really work for my family and my business. So thank you so much. You're welcome, thank you. That wraps up this episode today. I hope you learned something new and or are able to take away a fresh perspective to apply to the moments in your life. Remember to rate the podcast, share it with someone you love or leave a review. I'm always grateful for your time and I'm always rooting for you to wake up and thrive. I'll see you guys next week.