Wake up and Thrive

EP66- Feel Empowered Through Change

October 09, 2023 Bridget Covill Episode 66
Wake up and Thrive
EP66- Feel Empowered Through Change
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Change is challenging no matter who you are or how much work you have done. It just is! I am sharing my own journey with change on today's episode. I have been leaning on three powerful truths to help me in this process and I think they will help you too. 

Whether you are considering a change in your health, relationship, location, or maybe a job, these truths will empower you to keep going! We are taught that the only constant in life is change, but there is another one. Tune into today's episode to learn more and feel inspired and empowered as you walk your journey of change. 

I am always rooting for you. 

Let's Connect.

Free guide: 5 ways to Stress Less: Get the guide here
Come find me on Instagram: @findherwildcoaching
Check out my website and my offerings here

Speaker 1:

Hi, my name is Bridget and I am so deeply honored to be your host here on Wake Up and Thrive. My intention for this space is to help women around the world live more awake, aligned and truly alive. I believe wholeheartedly that we are designed to live and experience the full range that life has to offer, and in doing so, we can live fully turned on in all areas. My story began with sobriety and has since been an initiation into rediscovering parts of myself that I forgot about or had abandoned. Learning to reclaim all of who I am is the greatest gift of living awake, and together we will go on a journey of helping you to do the same. You can expect to learn practical tools to help you connect deeper to yourself, your purpose and those in your life. All you need is an open heart and an open mind. So if you're ready, it's time. It's time to wake up and thrive. Good morning, Happy Monday. It feels so good and also so weird to be back sitting down recording a podcast. My family and I have walked through kind of a big change. Might not feel that big for you, but for me it was a really, really big change, and I'm going to talk about it a little bit later in the podcast. That's what this episode is all about. It's all about walking through change and three really important lessons that I've learned that I think are going to help you. But I want to first just say welcome. If you are new, I'm so glad that you found my space and landed here. I really believe you're here for a reason. There is something here for you, there's a message for you, there's a lesson that gets to be learned, there's a big aha or breakthrough. It's coming your way. I really, really believe we find exactly what we need, exactly when we need it, and so I'm just super honored and grateful that I get to be responsible for delivering whatever it is that you are meant to learn on your journey. If you are a returning listener, I want to first of all thank you so much, so, so much, for reaching out, asking when I was going to come back. You know I've said this before and I'll say it again I love the podcasting world because it's my favorite way to deliver content, which is to talk, to speak. I have these big visions of speaking on stage and speaking at retreats and leading workshops, like it is. It lights me up and yet it is such a lonely way to deliver content because I don't get to see your beautiful faces. I have no idea what's landing. I have no idea what you want more of. You know, I have no idea the impact that it's making, and making an impact is a huge value. It's a huge reason behind why I started this podcast. So my ask for you guys this Monday morning is specifically related to this episode, but maybe it was a past episode. If you are hearing something that is just like speaking directly to you or you know, would speak to somebody in your life, would you please share it on social media and tag me? Would you send it to a friend and let me know that you sent it to a friend? Would you rate it, review? You can even subscribe, and by subscribing you will know when there's new episodes. So if I ever take another hiatus which I will just for warning you'll be notified when I come back. So make sure you hit that subscribe. If you can't figure out how to do any of those, message me and I will let you know. I will show you step by step, but it is one of the biggest ways that keeps me sort of engaged in showing up every week and sharing this content when I know that what I'm doing is making an impact. I am not coming on here to just talk to a computer screen for 20, 30 minutes. That's that. That is like blah, right. So, again, it's not about followers, likes, numbers, money, it's not about any of that. It is about your hearts and I want to know that this is reaching your hearts. So, please, please, please, please, help me out there and, without further ado, we are going to get into today's episode and, like I said earlier, I'm going to share a little bit about the change that we've walked through and I'm going to lead you guys, leave you guys, with three lessons slash, three truths that I've really been leaning on as I've been walking through this season of change, and it's been incredibly helpful to me. So, if you're listening, maybe you are currently walking through change. Maybe that's change in a relationship, change in a job, change in a financial status, change in a home, a town, a location, change in the big health status. Right, maybe you're thinking about walking through a change. And my guess is, if you are thinking about it, if there's a stirring in your heart and you haven't just you haven't taken that leap, that more than likely, it's related to one of these three truths that we're going to talk about. So I'm super excited to walk or to dive in. This is a really personal episode for me. So, yeah, let's go. Okay, so let me start with a little backstory. Those of you that are in my real life life or have followed me a little bit on social media, then you know that my family and I recently moved Now seven years ago, we moved across the country. That was a big move. Right, that was. That was a really, really big move. It also was, without a doubt, in a way, a lot easier than the current move we just walked through. We are currently currently moved in the same town. My kids did change schools, but we went from a living in a cul-de-sac with four young families. My kids would wake up and they would be gone all day long. They'd be playing with their friends. I really could be home with them all weekend but never actually see them. They never hung out with each other like it was. It was amazing in some ways and it was such a misalignment with what I wanted for my family in a lot of ways. I've also just talked and I've been very open and transparent about my experience in the cul-de-sac and how I got to really face head-on my own sisterhood wound and this wound of not feeling chosen, with the rupture of three friendships after I stepped into sobriety. And, caveat, the breaking of those friendships had nothing to do with alcohol, but it sort of did. It had a lot to do with. Once I stepped into sobriety, I stepped into this new version of who I was. I also stepped into the version I was before I started drinking, which was middle school. So I had a lot of those emotions, sort of return, a lot of those triggers of feeling left out, not feeling chosen, and I didn't handle it the best because I didn't have the tools at the time and when I sort of tried to come back and handle it in a more mature and respectful way, it wasn't received well. And the other thing is they also did not take any responsibility for their role or their actions, and so it became a really, really tough place to live for just so many reasons, because I would look outside at my kids and they would be so, so happy and I would just come inside and just feel awful. So this kind of all transpired starting in 2020. And so I really stayed. I really didn't just run away because people don't like me. I really, in my opinion, leaned into this first truth that we're going to go over, which is really like going all in, and so I sort of lived in the gray for a really long time of like, oh my gosh, this is not as clear as our last move. Like part of me, there's a stirring in my heart that's like this is not our home. I cannot grow old in this place. Like my growth feels freaking, stifled, by constantly seeing these women who are just incredibly limited, like that's the most kindest way I could describe them. They are good people, they are great moms, they are good friends with each other and other people, but they are incredibly limited in the way that they see the world and their relationships and being around. That, no matter how much growth I would do inside, being around that was it couldn't help, but sort of like pull me down as well. And so I do want to just say that that I do believe growth starts from the inside out. I am 100% a candidate, 100% behind that belief, and at some point you have to say, okay, I'm healing this wound, I'm doing all the internal work, I'm having those hard conversations, but in the current environment it keeps getting ripped open. Right, I'm doing my work, I'm trying my best to cover it, put on blinders, really dig deep to why it's there. Forgive myself, forgive other people, like I'm doing it, but I walk outside and it's getting ripped open, maybe a little bit as time goes on. Right, maybe it's not like this huge gaping wound anymore, but it's still there and it's not fully healing. And so at some point you get to really say there's something in the environment, there's something in the current relationship, in the current job, in the current location that gets to shift so that I can truly, truly grow. And it really does remind me of nature. Right, like nature has the ingredients within. You put a seed in the ground and that seed has the DNA, has the mapping to grow, right To sprout into whatever. It's going to become Big tree, plant, whatever, but it has to have the right environment. It has to. And so that was sort of what I found myself in. I just found myself in this place of like, everyone else around me is happy and this is awesome, but it's just there's something super limiting about me being here and I just there's something in my heart that was like I gotta go. But I was waiting and waiting and waiting for the right house, and that is going to be another podcast for another time. But I literally manifested the perfect, absolute, dreamiest home for me and my family and so we moved mid-September and it was it's a lot, right, moving is a lot, but in the best way it was a lot to kind of move us even though we were in the same town. It's been an adjustment in that we don't have a hundred kids around us, we have a lot more land and a lot more deer and a lot more trees, and it's beautiful and serene in some ways. And then it's been challenging in other ways. And again, this is all sort of tied up into what I want to talk to you about. So let's lean into the first lesson and the first truth that you get to really reflect on before making a big change. Okay, so the first lesson to really lean into, the first truth to really reflect on before you step into a season of change. Or maybe you are like you're so close to even taking that step but you just have so many emotions coming up, so many reservations, resistance, all the things. I think this one will really help you. So, if you're gonna go first, go all in, and what I mean by that is again, across the board, no matter what change you are considering, bring your full self. Bring all of you. Have those hard conversations, do your freaking work. I cannot tell you how many times I have seen people just leave prematurely because something's not working. Or, you know, I've heard my boss isn't listening to me, or my husband this, my husband that I mean. Again, even in my situation, had I left right in 2020, 2021, like there was still so much there for me? But it required. It required a lot of courage. It required a lot of trust that, even though this felt incredibly hard, I'm not gonna have clarity on whether or not I'm ready to go until I've brought my full self forward. Does that make sense? Like that is the number one thing. When somebody comes to me sort of considering leaving whether it's leaving a relationship or a job or a location I ask them have you brought your full self forward? Are you truly going out on top? And this was again. This was something my mentor had said to me one time, and I've never forgotten it, because I do think we live in a world that just says, you know, instant gratification. If you're not happy, change it. And I do believe, like I've shared, there are times where the outside situation or circumstance does need to change, but you cannot, that cannot be your first go to. So, before you're gonna blame your circumstances, make sure you're doing your work Okay. And again in my situation, I had hard conversations, I took responsibility for my role and you know, at the end of the day, I really had to say like there's nothing left for me to do. This clearly isn't going to shift or get better. And then I just had to ask myself a really honest question was I okay with that? And it became really, really clear once I had brought my full self forward. So if you're going to go first, go all in Secondly. Second, truth is, just because you make a decision and it feels icky at first, it doesn't mean it's the wrong decision. And this was. This was huge for me in making this move, and I wish more people knew this, because I do think oftentimes we take that step or we consider taking that step, but we're like gosh, like both decisions kind of suck. Like staying here really sucks, but leaving doesn't feel that great either, and that's going to be so much work and we've got to start over, and there's so much fear. I was literally talking to both a client and then one of my dearest, dearest friends from the Midwest. Both of them were saying the same thing. They were both considering change in two different areas. One was a change in her job and one was a change in her marriage. And the truth was neither decision felt good. So we know it felt good. What felt really good was living in the gray and not making a decision. And so if you find yourself in the gray, I want you to lean into this truth that that just because the new decision, the place you're moving towards, doesn't feel like absolutely amazing and you don't see unicorns on your front lawn dancing and you don't feel like butterflies stirring inside of you, it doesn't mean it's the wrong decision. Okay, because here's the deal when you make a change in your life or your relationship, you are stepping into something new, so it will always feel a little I don't have a professional word but it will feel wonky at first, and I always like to just sort of visualize a toddler learning to walk for the first time. It is no matter. There's not a toddler on earth that stands up and just starts walking, perfectly without falling down, without helping him melt down. And it's no different for us as adults when we are trying something new. We have to let go of this expectation that, hey, if I'm moving to something that is quote unquote better, it should feel better in the immediate interim. And that is bullshit. It is not going to feel amazing at first. Do not let that deter you. Okay, and what I will say is, the more that you do this work, the more that we work together, the more that you you do breathwork which is another thing that's coming from find her wild coaching, anything that really gets you into your body and connected to your heart, you will start to discern the difference. And I was able to really discern the difference between okay, this is just fear of the unknown, this is getting into a new rhythm, this is everybody sort of going through their process of trying to embrace this new change. Right Verses oh, my God, in my gut of guts, this is not the right move. We've screwed up. There's a big difference between, yeah, between both emotions or both experiences. So I don't know if I eloquently explain that, but if you are considering moving what I would, or not moving, but just making a change. What I would really consider doing is visualizing being there, visualizing being settled, visualized being. You know, getting over the little here comes the professional word the little wonky part of change. Get over that, get really settled into your new rhythm and embrace where you're at and visualize being there. So months from now. What does that feel like Once everything you're in a new routine, everyone's sort of happy and people have made connections and, yeah, I don't know, you just feel really grounded in this new place. What does that feel like? And does that feel even 1% better or more expansive than where you are right now? That might be a really good exercise to start with, versus comparing leaving to the beginning of change, because they're both going to feel not so great. Okay, so that's the second one and I will give a recap at the end. So the last lesson or truth to really lean into is and this is a big one, this was a big one for me and I think it's going to be a big one for you guys Every decision you make does not have to be for forever. Let me say that again. Every decision that you make does not have to be for forever. I think we forget this. I think oftentimes we feel the nudge, we feel the stirring to make a big decision Again, whether it's in your health or your finances or your job or your relationships, but we stop short because we go what if I make this decision? What if I get to that new place? And that's the wrong decision. I screwed up right. Like I totally should go back, I should go back to corporate, I should go back to that relationship, I should go back to that home. And I wanna stop and just say like I really get it, I really get. Like we can't just be in my example, I can't just be moving my whole family a million times a year. I know military families and lots of people do that, but like that's not our life. We can't afford that, first of all. Second of all, oh my gosh, I would lose my mind, but it's just not realistic. Same thing in a marriage, same thing in a job Like it's not realistic. So I totally understand wanting to be sure before you make a big decision and I want you to honestly tell me if there is a time in your life where you take a step forward and you know with 100% certainty exactly what's gonna pan out, how the day is gonna go, what kind of results you're gonna get, like all the things. Like honestly, honestly, sit and pause and ask yourself. Because I remember during the pandemic, when everyone was like freaking out about the unknown, I remember hearing from one of my mentors that said I get that like I get this as being highlighted and everyone's pointing the finger at it's the unknown, that's what's so scary. But the truth is, every time you wake up and you put your feet on the ground, it's unknown. Right? We are constantly walking into an unknown and guess what? You are constantly okay, you make it work, you adjust, you figure it out, and when we make these big decisions, we forget that. We forget that. So we put so much pressure on ourselves that if I make this big decision, it has to work and if it doesn't work, I'm like dead and you're not. You're not dead, you will always. There's this line like the only constant in life is change, and I agree with that, but I think it's only half of the truth. The other constant in life is choice. You always have a choice. We are sovereign beings and we can always choose one choice, and then we can always choose again if it ends up being the wrong decision. So put your mind at ease when you decide to follow your heart. Put your mind at ease and stop making every decision a lifelong sentence. So that's what I wanna leave you with. We'll do a small recap on the three truths and hopefully these you can really take these and apply these while you're reflecting on maybe your, whatever your change looks like. So the first one is if you're gonna go first, go fully in where you currently are, wherever that is if it's a relationship, the job, a current house, a current location, like do your work. Go full in, bring your full self forward, because then the decision will be a lot clearer. If you're living in the gray and you're unsure of which way to go, my guess is you need to start here and you need to really verbalize some needs, verbalize some boundaries, have those hard conversations like really go full in first and I promise you you will have more clarity. The second thing when you're making a change is expect it to feel a little wonky, a little icky at first, when you can expect that you won't be taken by surprise and you won't think something is wrong. This is part of the process. It doesn't mean you made the wrong decision. And the third truth is every decision is not a lifelong, forever decision. It's just not. You will always have the ability to choose again If you get there and you go full in and you get over that little period of unease. If it's still not the right decision, you get to choose again. So I hope at least one of these really touched you and I would love to hear, if you're walking through change or considering change, which one really stood out. You can let me know. You can email me. You can find me on Instagram. All of my information is in the notes and, yeah, that's all I have for you guys this week. I will see you guys next week. That wraps up this episode today. I hope you learned something new and or are able to take away a fresh perspective to apply to the moments in your life. Remember to rate the podcast, share it with someone you love or leave a review. I'm always grateful for your time and I'm always rooting for you to wake up and thrive. I'll see you guys next week.

Embracing Change and Finding Growth
Navigating Change